|Pic by epsos via Flickr|
My esteemed co-writer Richard Hurst pointed out the gag when people are looking at porn then turning the picture (or their head) sideways at which point it 'makes sense'. Agreed. Hacky.
Here are some other lines and bits that simply have to go (credited by twitter handle):
"Oh God. Did we...?" Checks under covers to see if clothes are on or off. @ElizabethBower & a variation by @JakeTrusler
I'd never dare do something like that... *Hastily hides the thing they didn't do* @zanPHEE
I'm tiring of 'whole...thing', as in "I hate being stood up" becoming "I hate the whole being-stood-up thing" @simonblackwell
How about a line referencing something bizarre/wacky that happened in the past, what happened to show not tell? @tonycowards
...look up the definition of [a bad thing] in the dictionary; know what you'll find? A picture of you. @philiplarkin
'That's going to leave a mark/that's gotta hurt' and variants... @tobydavies
'You had me at [insert something incongruous that isn't hello]' @ScriptwritingUK & @The_ODonnell
"Who *are* you and what have you done with the real X?"@danblythewriter
"Penny for your thoughts" @RobGilroy Ugh.
"That's what she said. Am I right or am I right?"@AndyGilder
When character drinks frothy coffee and puts cup down to reveal hilarious comedy tache. @ingridoliver100
Not strictly a line, but I don't ever need to see another sitcom character do a doubletake.@revgerald And add to to that the nighttime security guard who sees an odd thing then looks at the cup/glass/bottle in his hand.
When talking about something other than sex: "Tell me one thing, was s/he better than me" @TheSarcasticOwl - I like this observation. They did it in Friends quite a lot (eg. shopping together in Bloomingdales) and it worked for them. But it's done now.
"At least things couldn't get any worse." (Ceiling collapses/thunderstorm starts/etc.) @sleezsisters
"So, you knew? [nods] So, all the time...? [nods] And I was never...? [shakes head]" @mcmwright
I'm here all week. Try the veal. @paultrueman74 Yes, funny in Shrek when you're an ogre who's just beaten up soldiers but that was some time ago now.
Porn films in sitcoms are always of the Hollywood pornification 'Edward Penishands' variety. @MontyBodkin
A: hi I'm Tom
B: Nice to meet you Tim
A: it's Tom
B: WHATEVER TIM @Direlogue
A character storms out of a room straight in to a cupboard. They stay there. @johnfromsoho
"Why can't X do Y?" "Because (he's) a useless etc. etc. etc. who couldn't etc. an etc." PAUSE "But apart from that?" @SimplerDave
So let me make sure I've got this right... [summarises series so far for first time viewers] @AndyGilder Harsh, because one of your characters might be stupid and a quick recap might be useful, but sure, you have to hide it better than this!
Thanks everyone. Leave more in the comments if you think we've missed any. Now, let's write something original, characterful and funny.